The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
