Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
