My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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