if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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