yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
