I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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