Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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