the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
