guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize