at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
