I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Green mimosas i think yes
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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