I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
