i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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