he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
