Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
he was CRYING into my vagina
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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