you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
