Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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