i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
