Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
