I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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