In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Randomize
