found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
