You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
