Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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