I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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