he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
