new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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