Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
