It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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