I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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