I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize