i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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