Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
