I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
