I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
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i came on her dog
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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