1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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