I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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