jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
