it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
a search helicopter?!
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
