Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
