you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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