id be glad to
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
