Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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