Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
