cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize