Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
it's like iHOP with fire
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
