Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
