Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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