Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
