Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
