No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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