I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
