Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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