my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
