i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
50% drunk capacity currently
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
