return my video game
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
we're making bets on your personal life
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
