never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
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