There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
