I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
