# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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