What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
