is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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