sarcasm needs its own font
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize